


We'll Fix It Together

by freckledfoxes



Category: Supernatural
Genre: 11x10 coda, Canon-Typical Violence, Coda, Gore, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Minor Character Death, but it is there so there's your warning, canon character death, lots of feelings, lots of yelling, the gore is very brief tbh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-23
Updated: 2016-01-23
Packaged: 2018-05-15 20:13:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5798404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/freckledfoxes/pseuds/freckledfoxes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Coda to 11x10.<br/>*unbeta'd</p>
            </blockquote>





	We'll Fix It Together

Castiel can feel Dean’s longing, but he is subject to the will of his puppeteer. He cannot go to his friend, cannot lessen the unease that radiates off Dean even from miles away.

Castiel hasn’t felt this way in a long time. It’s been several years since he was a prisoner in his own body when the leviathans took over, and much of that he was hardly awake for. Naomi’s mind control wasn’t quite possession. Even the attack dog spell didn't completely feel like this; this complete lack of control, like being paralyzed, thinking you're moving your hand when you're not moving at all. The numbness after sitting cross-legged too long, getting to your feet only to roll your ankle because the feeling in your foot is gone.

But it’s not even quite like that, because Lucifer is allowing him to see and feel and hear everything. Rowena broke under his touch and he felt the twist of skin and the crack of her spine. He watched in horror and felt the meaty warmth of Crowley’s intestines between his fingers when his brother disemboweled him. Lucifer ascended his throne, redecorated in bone and flesh, and suddenly everything was as it once was, many years ago before the apocalypse that never came to pass. It was the Hell he remembered pulling Dean from.

Castiel could feel Dean calling out to him. It must have been weeks since Castiel said yes to Lucifer. He hears everything and the pull of Dean’s longing is enough to make him sick. Literally.

His vessel retches and rejects the intrusion. The sores break out on his lower back shortly after Lucifer takes hold, spreading around to his belly and up his chest, Castiel’s body unable to contain the amount of Grace within it. Lucifer heals them, of course, but it’s constant. But the worst and most painful thing is the agony of being unable to go to his charge. His body instinctively aches to go to Dean. _I always come when you call_ so emblazoned on his being that it backfires against Lucifer’s ignorance.

_Your butt-buddy’s constant whining is testing my patience, Castiel._

**_He knows something is wrong._ **

_If I go to him, pretend to be you--_

**_You won’t go within fifty miles of them, Lucifer, or so help me--_ **

_Remember who is in charge here, Castiel._

But Lucifer does not go to Dean, and Castiel can be nothing but grateful for small miracles.

* * *

 

_You know, Castiel, the last time I saw you, you were splattered all over that cemetery._

**_Apparently someone prefers me alive._ **

_You really are a peculiar thing. What makes you so special that you get to come back from death twice._

**_It’s actually been about four times now._ **

_Oh, is that all?_

**_And I’m not special. Just cursed._ **

_Cursed to return to your boy toy and his Titan brother?_

**_I’m cursed to keep ruining their lives. And ruining the world worse every time I return._ **

_Seems to me knowing the Winchesters is a curse all its own._

**_Perhaps. But I am the black cat that keeps crossing their path. I only serve to make things worse. It’s a punishment resurrection. I learned that years ago. I can only pray that when I die again, something will have mercy on me and the world, and I stay that way forever._ **

_Hm. That’s awful dark, Cassie._

**_Don’t call me that._ **

_You know we will cross paths with them again sooner or later. Dean’s getting awful concerned._

**_Dean will lose interest eventually._ **

_You think so? Because this pining is absolutely mind-numbing. Were you hoping this would be a nice vaycay from the clingy boyfriend?_

**_He will. He doesn’t need me._ **

* * *

 

Lucifer did it all wrong, but even Cas didn't notice right away. Not until Dean looked right up into his eyes. One glance at the wrong hand on the wrong shoulder and Dean’s face twisted up in confusion. One step back and Castiel’s hand was falling to his side. Castiel might have shuddered at the look on Dean’s face if he’d had control of his own body.

“Who are you?” Dean growled, suddenly in defense mode.

“What?” Lucifer said, using Castiel’s mouth. He felt his face scrunch up in a mockery of his own expressions. But Lucifer didn’t know him well enough. Not like Dean did.

“Who are you, ‘cause you sure as hell ain’t Cas.”

**_Dean I’m in here._ **

_I should really kill him, little bro._

**_Then that’ll be your death wish._ **

“Cas, if you’re in there--”

“Castiel is just fine and dandy, Deano.”

**_Are you insane--!?_ **

“Who are you? Answer me, now.”

An eerie chuckle bubbled out of Castiel’s throat. “Remember that thing I told you, about whatever choices you make, whatever details you alter--”

“Lucifer,” Dean choked, looking and sounding for all the world like he’d been punched square in the gut.

“I have to admit I didn’t foresee the whole,” Lucifer waves Cas’ hand, gesturing vaguely at his body, “ _possessed lover_ thing, but that’s a trope that never fails to rev my engine.”

Dean is so pale and silent that Castiel might have thought he was dead if he wasn’t standing upright. The sheer look of horror on his face was enough to make Castiel feel dizzy.

“You see, Castiel believes in _me_ now. The three of you against the world isn’t enough for him anymore. He… Placed his faith in a _higher power_.”

**_Stop. Stop lying to him. Brother, I beg you--_ **

“Get out of him, you son of a bitch.”

“And why would I do that?”

Lucifer takes a step toward Dean, and then another, but Dean stands stock still where he is at the end of the table. Castiel aches under the look of betrayal he sees etched in every line on his face.

“This ain’t his fight. This is between me ‘n sam, and you ‘n Michael. Cas doesn’t deserve this.”

“He begs to differ.”

**_Stop--_ **

“Get out of him, or so help me--”

“What? You can’t kill me. And even if you could, that’d kill your boyfriend here, too. Catch-22. You and him are stuck with me cockblocking you for the rest of your pathetically short life. And hopefully, Cas will get to watch me strip the skin from your bones with his own teeth.”

**_No!_ **

“Cas, if you’re awake in there, you gotta fight this. Please man, you have to--”

“That’s enough,” Lucifer groaned, sounding bored as he threw Dean back against the wall with a blink of Castiel’s eyes. Dean cried out in agony when his head smacked the wall with a sickening crack.

**_Stop! Stop this now! Leave this bunker or I will--!_ **

_“You’ll what, Castiel?! You can’t do a damn thing! I’m in charge here. You’re nothing. You’re--”_

The crackle of a match and the sudden rush of flames sprung up around them, endless loops intersecting one another, forming several rings throughout the room.

“You’re trapped, dickbag,” Dean grunted, now slumped on the floor near Sam’s feet where he stood, jaw set and a box of matches clutched in his fist.

Lucifer spun around, suddenly panicked like a caged animal. He snarled, running right up to the edge closest to Sam and Dean in the circle of holy fire he was confined in.

“This can’t hold me.”

“It held Gabriel. And Raphael. You can’t fool us into thinking you’re more powerful than you are,” Sam said coolly, eyes boring daggers into Castiel’s.

**_These ‘hairless apes,’ as you like to call them, are far more clever than you give them credit for, Lucifer._ **

Lucifer outright roared in anger.

“Stop throwing a tantrum. Aren’t you too old for that. By a few billion years?” Dean sneered, glaring right through Castiel.

“I will rip your spleens out through your nostrils. I will shove Castiel’s blade right up your--”

“Stop talking,” Sam snapped. “You’re done. It’s over. Let Cas go.”

“I am your only shot. You want the Darkness dead--”

Dean growled. “We’ll find another way. You’re old news, you piece of shit.”

“There is no other way. I was the only one who could put her away before--”

“No. It was you, three others just like you, and God.” Sam stepped forward, practically toe-to-toe with Lucifer now. “You are just one part of a whole. Worthless without the rest. We can find another way. Now let. Cas. Go.”

“I can just snap his neck, right here, and he’d be gone.”

“He’s an angel. He’ll heal,” Dean said, so sure.

“Ah ah ah, Dean. Enough of him was human to say yes to me. Two angels can’t occupy the same vessel. That’s Angel Possession 101. One angel per customer. Which means he’s human enough for me to kill him in the most mundane, humiliating, and _human_ ways.”

Castiel watched fear flicker across Dean’s face once more as he let the truth of that sink in.

“Cas, you have to fight him. Please.”

“How can you be so sure Castiel is still awake in here, Dean?”

“I just know. Profound bond and all,” Dean said bitterly. “I don’t know why he thought he had to do this, but I’m not gonna let you destroy him. We’re in this together. Team free will. The three of us against the universe. He ain’t gonna go out like this. I won’t let him.”

“You know he loves you, right? That’s why he did this. So I wouldn’t kill you, and so Sam would have to say yes, and you wouldn’t have to watch your brother walk around with me inside him. He did this because he’s _expendable_ . Because maybe he can redeem himself for all the wrong he’s done. So he’ll be remembered for _maybe_ doing the right thing.”

**_Don’t. Don’t tell him this, Lucifer. He doesn’t need to know this._ **

“He’s in here right now, begging me to not tell you. He is so head-over-heels in love with you. And people think I’m the screw-up. Loving one of _you_?”

Dean is pale as a ghost and Sam looks like he might be sick. Castiel is screaming from inside, trying to claw for some kind of control.

“So really, this is your fault, Dean. _You_ did this to him. Ruined him. A perfectly good angel and, for what? World peace? You used him up, and he knows it. But he keeps going back to you again and again like a puppy on a leash because no matter how much you keep kicking him, he loves you.”

**_“Stop!”_ **

The word breaks from between Castiel’s lips and everyone in the room is shocked still by the outburst.

_“Castiel. I’m only saving you from yourself. From these bottom-feeders. Don’t try to fight me. You will lose.”_

“Cas?”

Lucifer and Castiel both look at Dean again.

“Cas, I’m sorry. I’m sorry I made you feel that way and I promise that I will do whatever I can to fix it but you have to fight him. You have to come back.” Dean’s voice cracks on the end and Castiel can see the tears gathering under his eyes. This is not what he wanted.

**_If I force you out, retract my consent, you won’t a have body tethering you to Earth. You’ll be sucked back into the cage._ **

_You can’t be sure of that, little brother._

**_I don’t need to be. I can hope._ **

_“You can’t fight me.”_

“Yes you can, Cas. You’re strong. You can fight him. We’ve taken down bigger bads than this guy, so please just--”

_“_ Will you just. shut. _up_ !?” Lucifer growled. “ _No matter what you see in his eyes, Castiel, he doesn’t really love you. You’re his most valuable tool. A hammer. The world’s largest encyclopedia and the universe’s sharpest weapon. That is all you will ever be to him!”_

**_“Get out!”_ **

_“You can’t get rid of me so easily Castiel. I will leave you a slobbering vegetable in the mud!”_

**_“They are my friends. This is my body. And I said,_ ** **get out!”**

_“He doesn’t love you, Castiel. Not like you love him. He never can, and never will. You are unfathomable to his puny little mind--”_

**_“GET OUT!”_ **

The lights burst in the room; probably in the entire bunker. But anything electrical fizzes out and Castiel is suddenly filled with with hot, intense light. Sam and Dean shield their eyes, back away as Lucifer is ejected from his vessel and ripped back to the Cage below.

Castiel collapses, consciousness be damned.

* * *

 

“Cas?”

Castiel blinks, bleary-eyed and groggy and sporting the most mind-numbing headache he’s ever experienced. He groaned and held his head, closing his eyes against the light in the room.

“Shit, hold on.”

That’s Dean’s voice. It’s full of concern and worry. Castiel hears the creak of a chair, a little rustling, and then the room is darker beyond his lids. He takes a chance and opens his eyes again, slowly, unsure. It’s much dimmer in the room now. Only a small, yellow night light casting eerie shadows throughout the room.

He sees Dean’s shadow out of the corner of his eye before he moves completely into view, silhouetted by the glow. Dean sits in the chair next to the bed Castiel is lying in and he leans forward.

“How you doin’, buddy? S’it all you in there?”

Castiel takes a deep breath. “All me. And an excruciating migraine.”

“Ah, here.” Dean reaches over to the bedside table and grabs a water bottle and some pain medication. He uncaps the bottle, then dumps two pills into his hand, handing them and the water over to Castiel when he’s done.

“Thank you. How long was I out?” He asks before tipping the pills into his mouth and taking a sip of water.

“Uh… Well, no way to put this lightly. You’ve been out for over two months now,” Dean said, sounding grave. “We weren’t sure you were gonna come back.”

“I didn’t expect to.”

He feels Dean’s deep frown more than he sees it. “Cas, we gotta talk--”

“I would prefer that we didn’t, Dean.”

“Me neither, man. But we need to. When things are this bad, stuff needs to be said.”

“Dean--”

“Look, just-- Just listen, okay? You don’t have to say anything, even though I would prefer that you do. I know you feel-- I don’t know, like you’re not important to me-- er, Sam _and_ me. At least, if what Lucifer said is true?”

Cas is silent. That’s answer enough for Dean.

“Right. Well, I’m sorry. I’m sorry I made you feel that way. I don’t-- You know me. Sam’s the only one I can ever really… Say things to, you know. But that’s ‘cause he’d wheedle it outta me, anyway if I didn’t. He knows me better than anyone.” Dean pauses, looking up at the ceiling briefly before letting out a long exhale and continuing. “With you it’s just… It’s easier to just… I don’t know. I’m afraid of what I put out there, with you. I don’t know what you want, or what you’re thinkin’. Sometimes I think I know you, then you go and, I don’t know, swallow up Purgatory or say yes to the Devil. And I never really understand why you do the things that you do. And that’s no excuse. But I thought I’d made it pretty clear that I want you around, at least in my own way. Thought you could at least tell that.”

Castiel is silent still, staring down at his hands, though he can hardly see them in the darkness. He wonders absently how much of his Grace is left, if there is any.

“Cas, look at me. You haven’t even looked at me,” Dean pleads, voice thick with emotion that Castiel hasn’t heard since after Purgatory. He does look up then, and sees that same desperate look he had when Dean told him he didn’t leave him in the in-between.

“You want me around… because I’m useful, though, right? Because I can help you better than any human ever could.”

“No. No, that’s not why I want you around. Sure, maybe that’s a perk, but we’re all useful to each other. Sam’s smart and puppy-eyed. Gets us outta trouble better than anything. He’s good with people. You’re a good fighter, and you’d be a better hunter than me with some training. And you know so much more than either Sam and I could ever hope to learn. And remember, I was your bullet shield for Raphael. Not sure how much more than that I have to offer--”

“You are worth far more than your ability to shield others from harm, Dean.”

“Okay, but that’s besides the point. The point is that, yeah, you are useful. But that’s not why I want you around. I just… I just want you here ‘cause you’re _you_. You’re family. And maybe that doesn’t mean much anymore, since all our family ends up dead. But it means a hell of a lot more than just being a tool. You’re not a hammer, remember? You told me that. And I’ve been shitty making you feel like that’s not true.”

Castiel frowns deeply and stares at Dean, feeling something swell up in his chest and making his throat tight.

“I’m not gonna let you forget that, okay? I’ll remind you every freakin’ day if I have to. You’re not a weapon. Or a walking encyclopedia with wings. You’re family. And I want you here ‘cause-- You know…”

Castiel feels tears prick at the corners of his eyes.

“I’m gonna remind you of _that_ everyday, too. If I have to. One of these days I’ll have the stones to say the actual words... Don’t know how you don’t know that already--”

“I would kiss you if I didn’t think I’d vomit from jumping to you right now.”

Dean’s eyes go wide.

“I’ll be sure to tell you, if I ever feel that way again. I don’t-- I’m still unsure how to express things. And I know that sometimes feelings make you uncomfortable.”

Dean shifts in his seat. “Yeah. Well, probably time I grow up and get over that.”

Castiel is silent for a moment before sighing. “I am sorry that you had to hear it in words how I feel from Lucifer first, not me.”

“We wouldn’t be in this situation right now if I’d made you feel like it was okay to say them.” Dean leans forward and takes one of Castiel’s hands. “Are you human now, Cas? How were you able to say yes to him?”

Castiel shakes his head. “I’m not sure what I am, but I know I’m not fully an angel anymore. I knew that enough then, too, apparently. Or it wouldn’t have worked. Lucifer could see it, too. I’m fairly certain he saw right through to all of my weaknesses.”

Dean sighs and presses his lips to Castiel’s knuckles. It’s a gentle, tender gesture that surprises Castiel.

“I can barely feel my Grace anymore. And part of what I can feel might just be from you, anyway. Our bond.”

Dean sighs and leans his forehead against their hands. “I’m sorry.”

“I only cared to get it back so I could help you. So I would be more useful. But knowing what I know now, I don’t really care what happens to it. There will always be a bit left in you anyway.”

Dean is blushes. Castiel doesn’t need the light or his Grace to tell that. he can feel the warmth of Dean’s face against his fingers rise.

“We’re a couple of saps, you know that, right?” Dean murmurs.

Castiel huffs in amusement. “Yes.”

They sit in silence for a moment, the only sound in the room coming from their breaths and the clock on the wall.

“I know you ain’t gonna feel better instantly. It’s gonna take time, I get it.”

Castiel nods, appreciating the understanding.

“I’ll fix this, I promise.”

Castiel removes his hand from Dean’s only to reach out and run it through Dean’s hair. He can’t remember if he’s ever felt it before. It’s soft between his fingers and it warms him to the core. Dean leans into the touch and looks up at Castiel.

“We’ll fix it together.”


End file.
